We did it. We left the house on a schedule, with no dedicated extra ‘help’ (aka Granny) and went to a parents and tots group. To most mums I doubt this sounds like an achievement but to me it really felt like something to celebrate!
I have to admit we had a pretty awful start to the day and I did consider canning the whole excursion. I went into planning mode the night before. I set their clothes out, restocked the baby bag, left the bottles ready to make up and worked out when I needed to leave to walk there for 930am. I was determined that we would have a smooth and flawless morning routine. The boys had other plans. Breakfast was a nightmare – H decided to clamp his mouth shut and not let a morsel past and B decided to blow bubbles with every mouthful, covering me, him and anything in a 1 metre radius in pear porridge. Fun. Then we moved into morning bottles. H was not a bit interested and with extreme amounts of faffing about I managed to get him to take 4oz. B drank up with gusto and then proceeded to puke his entire brekkie and feed over him, me and the sofa! So by 855am I had changed B twice, H once, got into my second set of clothes, fed 3 bottles, 2 spoon feeds, cleaned the sofa, put a wash on and changed 4 nappies! I was ready for a cuppa.
Anyways, we ploughed on and at 9am on the dot one of my mummy friends arrived at the door with her baby and toddler and we all headed off.
I’d avoided these sort of groups for months – the boys spent their first 5 and 12 weeks of life in various neonatal units and when they came home they were still very tiny (circa 4lbs) and very susceptible to infection. I was terrified of germs. I was nervous of any visitors and was tempted to spray them all in disinfectant as they crossed our threshold! We had been warned by the paediatrician to avoid bringing the twins to any large gatherings or even to the supermarket until they were significantly bigger. We brought them out for lots of walks but even then I insisted on putting their rain covers on the carrycots to avoid random people poking their hands in to the pram! I was a lioness defending her little cubs.
The other fairly obvious barrier to going out with baby twins is the adult to baby ratio. Two small babies and one adult is just not optimum! There are so many things that could go horribly wrong! I can just about make it work in my own house, where I have systems in place and all the equipment required. But solo outings terrify me!
So yes, going to a parents and tots group today was a big deal. I have to admit, when we first walked in my lioness radar was on full alert and I was trying to keep a smile on my face and carry on conversations whilst my inner monologue was going nuts….
– Oh no, do I need to lie them on these mats. What if they aren’t clean?
– What am I going to do if one if them is screaming when the other one is getting fed?
– I really hope they don’t vomit again…
– Am I increasing their risk of picking up some horrible illness?
– I don’t want them to pick up and suck all these toys. Germs, germs, germs..
– How am I going to join in on rhyme time in the next room? I can only lift one at a time…
Then I started chatting to another mummy and before long I had a lovely, hot cup of coffee in my hand! I started to relax and I really really enjoyed the morning. We didn’t do anything particularly exciting. The babies lay and kicked and cooed, loving all the attention and goings on. I got some help with feeding the boys. Thankfully neither of them showed off their skill at projectile vomiting. I had a good chat, met some new friends and had a lovely cup of coffee. One of the lovely helpers took one of my boys on their lap for song and rhyme time. And then we headed home. I think this may become the highlight of my weekly social calendar!!!!!
It was great to get out of the house and engage in some adult conversation – even if we did just talk about our babies! I think as the twins get older, it’ll be a great opportunity for them to have some social interaction and get their hands dirty on some fun craft projects.
So if like me, you’re a bit terrified of getting out there and joining a baby group, I’d really encourage you to do it. Whats the worst that can happen?
I’m linking this post up with #MarvMondays